I’m Neither of Those Things.

I’m going to take a break before writing the final part of SPEAK’s First Debate. I’ve been eating, breathing, and living ‘debate’ for the past two weeks.

Ok, time for some rage!

I’ve been living in the Malaysian peninsula for nearly two years now and grown used to people getting the wrong idea of who I am. Because of that, I developed a few routines that I go through to cope with the overwhelming experience.

How I Look

When people meet me for the first time, they automatically assume I’m Chinese because of my fair skin. I don’t have slit eyes though (no offense).

 

Person: 你是漂亮

 

I don’t even know what the heck that was! My response: wait for the person to finish talking, nod a bit, stare them in the face, smile, and kindly tell them…

 

Me: Sorry, I DON'T SPEAK Chinese…

 

Do you know how often this happens? When a salesperson approach me, when I go near a booth to look at the items, when I go to an information counter, when a new Chinese housemate turns up, when their parents come and visit, when a hairdresser cuts my hair and, even after telling her I’m not Chinese, she still insisted that I may have some Chinese roots while also telling me how white I was with some flirting on the side…..ahem.

everywhere! And this also applies to others that aren’t Chinese. One look at me and boom, I’m Chinese. Clearly, most people in this side of Malaysia has never seen other locals that aren’t Chinese, Malay or Indian.

At one point in my life, I even considered taking Mandarin classes! *sigh*

Btw, I’m Kadazan. God bless those who got that right the first time.

My English

To fellow Malaysians, my English is very, um…good (with an unknown accent attached). You see, Sabahans who are fluent in English, I have to honestly say, sounds good…except for those wannabes who over-exaggerate.

When my dentist was fixing one of my molars, to fill in the silence, we talked. I guess it’s something that these med freaks learn in psychology class or something. Anyways, as we ended a topic, she started a new one by saying

You speak good English. You must come from an educated family.

In ‘context’ that also means I come from a fringin’ wealthy family! Wouldn’t it be easier if I just said -

Oh yes! All my cousins went to private schools but not me. My parents believed in public education even though we swim in riches!

OMG! Would you believe that shit? But of course, I didn’t say that! This happens always, so in the beginning, I already have a standard answer

Really? I never noticed (smile or wonder, according to situation). My family speaks to me in English ever since I can remember accompanied by endless TV shows.

Yeap! The same response, all the time.

Malaysia is not an English speaking country, therefore witnessing good local English speakers that doesn’t have white parents, never went abroad, aren’t rich, and doesn’t sound ridiculous by trying too hard to have an accent is out of the norm!

Usually there’s something added into our Malaysian English – either it’s broken, small pauses; trying to find a particular word, direct Malay to English translation, ending words with ‘lah’ or sentences with ‘one’ e.g “no la, cannot one” and the usual Chinese-English accent. There’s actually more. Would probably create a whole post on this one.

If there is anything unoriginal about my English, is that I get most of my catchphrases from Friends. You can’t blame me using them if I tell you I’ve seen the whole 10 seasons, 7 times and still going!