The Lazy Perfectionist

I thought the term didn’t exist so I said to myself that it’s just me but I was right all along – I’m a lazy perfectionist!

Read somewhere that it could be very debilitating (severe la) especially for people in the creative industry! God, please let me find a way to get rid of this ‘disease’.

Admitting this is the firs step to cure. Here’s a story of how I think this whole attitude started.

A few years ago, when I was still a stupid teenager (and probably still am), I was kinda known as the computer nerd in my school. But these kids weren’t tech savvy, what did they know about real computer nerds! Because of that, I was incautiously parading myself as this so called computer expert or some sort. Real thing was, the knowledge I had on computers back then was no more than the average Joe.

During a school break, I created a movie poster from one classmate photo using Photoshop which I was just beginning to explore. Just for fun. When I showed it to people, they were all impressed by it. Like, of course I was proud of myself! The recognition was so great that I started to make a series of other movie posters.

I wanted to impress people so much that I began to develop this perfectionist behaviour. Problem was, I was in boarding school and time was very limited for me to be around computers. The only time I could fully utilize them was when I go back home for ONE weekend every month – and that started it all! I wanted to get results FAST and impress people faster that I ignored the proper learning curve - learning from mistakes and a lot of practice. I targeted online tutorials that went straight to the point I wanted.

And got so used to doing it!

Since then, I’ve been refusing myself the urge to learn new things that requires a lot of practice and doesn’t promise immediate results; drawing for an example. The knowledge I have of something is very limited and yet sometimes, though I don’t claim to be, people assume I know more. Maybe because of the way I present myself, the way I talk, and how ridiculous I can be. Eveyone lies; but the lies I make on my expertise can be so believable that most of the time I myself don’t know I’m lying.

Note to self: You’re a LAZY PERFECTIONIST! Drop the first word or might as well call yourself CRAZY!